Thursday, September 10, 2009

Over the Radiation Hurdle and the next one looms large ahead

It has been a tough couple of weeks since I finished the 30 days of Chemo/Radiation therapy. I now have a one month break with no therapy to give my body a chance to recover. I thought that this would be an easy time, but in reality I'm finding it very hard to remain positive because I find myself in a kind of limbo. When I was working through the radiation I guess I had a clear goal and a daily routine that kept me going. Now I find that I am worrying too much about the future, about the medical expenses and every little thing. It's getting a bit out of control and even though I know it is irrational, I can't stop doing it. I have even been waking at two or three in the morning and have to read a book to get back to sleep. The shrink thinks it is a normal response under the circumstances and put me on the higher dose of anti-depressant earlier this week. I am slowly calming down but it will still take some time to return to normal. It 's another hurdle to get over so I'll just have to hang in there and sweat it out I suppose. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this after Radiation therapy?